While mono started as a physical illness, it’s now a mental one—or so my doctor says.
Like I said in my last blog post:
It’s a absurdly high stress and anxiety level, and psychosomatic symptoms that come with it.
That means that my stress and anxiety are so high, that it makes me physically sick. I’ve been exhausted for months, and this week it was so bad, I thought I had the stomach flu.
Oh, and that ‘stomach flu’? It was gone after the first appointment.
My doctor also thinks that there’s a mental blockade somewhere that’s preventing me from recovering from the mono and she wants to figure out what it is.
So she sent me to some sort of psychologist (someone between the GP and psychologist). We talked a bit and she just wanted to make clear that I have the option to start therapy, and they (my GP and her) don’t want to force me to do it.
Should I start therapy?
And I thought #WorldMentalHealthDay was a good occasion to think about that (and I think best when I write things out).
Because I think I’m going to do it. I mean, why not? If it’s not bringing me what I hoped for, I can always stop.
- There’s enough I have to work on. I immediately thought of two things, and after a couple of hours, I tripled that list.
- I’m stuck in the Netherlands right now anyway.
- If I don’t do it now, I’ll probably have to start it in the future.
- I’m already working on myself with physical therapy, so I may as well balance both of them.
- Who knows how much potential it’s keeping from me?
And I have three more weeks to thing about it before I have to tell the sort of psychologist my decision. (I know my physical therapists supports it, she wants me to take the opportunity to learn my boundaries and stick to them.)
Taboo on therapy
There seems to be a big taboo on therapy. People feel ashamed to talk about it like you’re not supposed to do it—or talk about it.
I don’t feel that way. I’ve been around more therapists than I can remember, it was just never really for me but for people around me.
But I think people who do choose to go to therapy are strong. Strong enough to know they deserve better and that there’s something they can do about it. Strong enough to admit they need some help in that department.
So I guess I’ll be one of those strong people now.
Photo by Benjamin Voros on Unsplash